Some of my Incredible Skill

So my mother asked me to put up a few of my High School writing samples...I figured I'd humor her...Let me give you a little background into the assingment tho...We were supposed to pick a subject and write four different kind of papers on it. I picked shoes. The four papers were called the Short Choppy, Labyrinth, Monosyllabic, and Polysyllabic. Rules were: Short Choppy-no more than 5 words in each sentence; Labyrinth-a one page sentence; Monosyllabic-every word is one syllable; Polysyllabic-GUESS!...hee hee...no...only every 5th word could be monosyllabic...every other word had to be more than one syllable. I think that's everything...enjoy:

Short Choppy--Shoes, Shoes, and More Shoes
Shoes are so much fun. I love shopping for them. There is such a variety. There are so many stores. My favorite is Famous Footware. The selection there is enormous. The worst store is Payless. Their shoes are cheap. They give me stinky feet. My favorite shoes are sneakers. I also like hiking boots.
I do not like sandals. They get things in them. Things like rocks and sand. Your feet are unprotected, too. Anything could happen to them. You could stub your toe. You could get stepped on. You can’t hide your toes. I think feet are ugly. So I don’t like sandals. They show the wearer’s feet.
Everyone has to have shoes. They are part of life. Without shoes, feet go unprotected. People could cut them badly. Shoes also keep feet clean. There’s a lot of dirt outside. Sometimes dirt can become mud. There are diseases in mud. “Neked” feet get diseases easily. Shoes keep the diseases out. Feet are ugly anyway. Oh! I’m repeating myself.

Labyrinth--The Giant Shoe That Took My Brother (my favorite)
I looked up at the high shelf of shoes and knew he was up there--the giant shoe that had taken my brother, and I knew I had to get up there and save my brother or else he would be gone forever, and I kept thinking, You can’t climb this massive shelf because it is too high, but you have to get up there because what if he eats your brother, and it would have been all my fault because I dared him to touch the shoe, but I didn’t know that when he touched the shoe it would come alive, and its shoelaces would take hold of him, and that the shoe would say, “Because you have touched me, I will now eat you,” and then run away from me with my brother tied up in his laces, so I just stared at the disappearing shoe, and didn’t know what to do for a minute, but finally I came to and ran after the shoe and my brother and came to this giganteus shoe-shelf, and I knew the giant, evil shoe had my brother up there, and that he was getting ready to either eat my brother or cut him up and serve him to all of the tennis shoe’s minions, and I thought, well this is great because now a giant tennis shoe and his minions are going to eat your brother and all you can do is stand here and think about how high the shelf is instead of just going to save him, so I lifted one foot and began the climb to the top, and then, suddenly, when I was almost to the top, all of the tennis shoe’s minions came and pushed me off the shelf, and I was falling, falling, falling, and I kept falling into an endless black hole, and then suddenly… my alarm went off! Why did I have a dream about a giant tennis shoe?

Monosyllabic--I Love Shoes
I love shoes they bring me joy.
I love shoes both girls’ and boys’.
I love shoes “like all the day
Hey! I love shoes “like” all the way!
I love shoes and you do too.
You love shoes…Oh yes you do!
We love shoes and so does he.
We love shoes, he, you, and me.
I love shoes, they do bring joy,
To one and all, both girl and boy.
I must buys some, on this day.
I must get some, “come what may.”
I’ve one more thing that I must say.
Then I leave you here this day:
I love my socks, more than my soes.
My socks love me…Hope you do too!!

Polysyllabic--OUTBREAK!! (my mom's favorite)
Today’s society causes people to consider someone without appropriate footwear “incredibly filthy”; therefore, footwear becomes essential. Repulsive diseases travel throughout our noxious, smutty earthen basin. Imagine watching the massive disease outbreak involving American people on Kansas City’s Information Station (KCIS):
>“Arnold speaking. Viewers watching KCIS, situate themselves within personal abodes, watching televisions, stupefied because vicious outbreaks throughout Missouri thoroughly surprise every single American. People persistently question amongst themselves, “Contempelua Disease? However did this epidemic occur?” Danicia Coggsworth’s Kansas City’s hospital’s bombardments update--Including Contempelua Disease information, also, hopefully offering assistance. Danicia”
>“Kansas City’s magnanimous Arnold Austin. Ahem…Nothing amidst dictionary pages can begin describing the hysteria Kansas City faces today. Kansas City hospitals began overflowing today. Doctors, unfortunately, became inaccessible yesterday. Millions continue dying every thirty minutes. Confusion exists everywhere within city limits. Remember, Contempelua survives throughout revolting, virulent habitats. Footwear prevents Contempelua spreading. Also, because Contempelua’s considered incredibly contagious, people cannot continue without footwear--disease outbreaks continue escalating in epidemic proportions. Contempelua destroys entire populations within Twenty-one, Twenty-four-hour periods. Footwear prevents people from attaining ghastly diseases. Danicia Coggsworth reporting…Contempelua: Armageddon Engaged!”

I hope hope you had lots of fun!